Poetic Justice, Discordant Plotlines
by Obsidian Buterfly
Summary: Full name: Poetic Justice, Discordant Plotlines and a Seriously Screwed up Fate! Summary: A story in which FWR is a Closet Mushy Romance Sap and everyone else is just OOC. Crackfic. Full summary inside due to lack of space to put everything here
1. Prologue

_**A/N: This little bunny was born because of the questions some of my readers posed when they read how badly some of the main characters (mostly Fai and Syaoran) got treated in my torture fics. I'd like it if you guys actually took out the time to read this note before you proceed to reading the actual story.**_

_**Okay, first and foremost. This is a Crackfic. Obviously, it wouldn't be my fic if there wasn't something dark and screwed up thrown in the mix but despite a few of the darker themes, it's crack all the same ;) **_

_**The characters will be bound to act OOC and there will be mentions made to a few of my other stories, mainly 'Shattered Secrets', 'Whispers in the Dark', 'Prisoners of War' and 'Broken'. It'd all make more sense to you all if you've actually read those before.**_

_**The question that prompted me to write this story was how I'd react to a situation if I was the one going through some of the stuff I put Fai and Syaoran through in Broken. It's more or less like a personal challenge. I wanted to see if I could actually do it or not. Although I usually don't approve of them, but seeing as this is**_

_**a) a crackfic **_

_**b) a crackfic that pokes fun at my own writing **_

_**I think it's perfectly okay for me to say to that this is a 'self-insert fic.'**_

_**Hmm… I don't think I had anything else to warn you guys about though I'll just add it to one of the future author notes if I remember something that I might have missed right now.**_

_**I hope you guys enjoy it all the same. **_

_**Prologue:**_

"Argh!" I screamed in shock as I flew through the air before finally colliding with the floor with a dull thud, the impact jarring every bone in my body as my scream turned to one of pain.

Rolling to my side after spending a few precious moments staring above me in a daze I pushed myself up on shaky limbs as my muscles screamed in protest. I looked up towards the hole in the roof through which I had been thrown only moments before. My eyes watered at the bright light that was pouring into the dark… I squinted my eyes to observe my surroundings only to find that I was in a dirty round… room would be too elegant a word for it. This place I was in… I suppressed an involuntary shudder as I realized how wrong everything was. I looked back up again only to see fleshy blobs in place of the faces of my kidnappers as they looked down at me from above. Darn it! They could have at least had the decency not to break my glasses! How am I supposed to tell the police about who kidnapped me if I can't see their faces? Although… I seriously doubt they'd ever believe me even if I could see properly and describe their appearances.

"We hope you enjoy your stay here." A silky voice floated down to where I was, bringing me out of my mental tirade. I suppose I should be hyperventilating right about now. Or panicking at least… I mean that's how I had always written it out to be, right? But for some odd reason, my mind felt disconnected yet hyperaware of everything around me. It was like… I was there… yet not there at the same time.

The rusty trap door creaked ominously as they began to slide it back in place and the light streaming down from above began to lessen in intensity…. And cue panic attack. Or hysteria. Or denial. Call it whatever you want. I don't care.

My breath came in short, rapid pants as I tried to look around me, my eyes straining wide against the pitch black darkness of the place I was in. Tremors shook my body as I tried to hold my breath, tried to silence myself. I hate the dark… which is a bit ironic and funny in a morbid and roundabout way since I can never seem to be able sleep with the lights on. My room has to be pitch black before I go to sleep. It's something my sister and I always used to fight about before I started university and moved to the dorms. My roommate had to learn to live with my obsession for complete darkness when going to bed too.

I heard a small scratch somewhere to my right and my breath caught up in my throat in fear.

I had written about places like this so many times. The dank, slippery walls made out of rough dark stone covered in slime. The dirty, grime covered floor. The deathly putrid stench of sweat, blood and things I'd rather not think about filling the air. But that's the thing! I always _wrote_ about stuff like this. Things like kidnapping and dungeons and torture cells don't happen in real life! At least… not in the real of someone like me.

"This… this isn't real…" I whispered shakily, trying to ignore the feeling of the wet, slimy grit under my smarting hands. "Gah!" I screamed, rapidly pushing away from where I was until my back collided with the wall behind me. Something warm and furry had just crawled over my right hand. A shudder of fear and disgust crawled up my spine as I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Not real… Not real..." I whispered frantically, praying with all my heart that when I opened my eyes, I'd be in bed, waking up from an all too realistic nightmare. I'd calm down my breath and look around me to find the annoying streak of golden light spilling in from the small gap in my closed curtains and I'd groan and check the time on my cell phone, mumble something about it being too early before rolling over to go back to sleep. I'd wake up cursing a few hours later, rushing about frantically to get dressed since I'd have slept in again and I'd be late for my class.

Something warm brushed against my leg and I felt a whimper form in my throat. I curled up further into myself as warm tears prickled my eyes. No matter how brave I made up the characters in my stories to be… I was nothing like that. It was easy to make fictious characters act foolhardily and oh so bravely. But it was easy because they weren't real! They were imaginary, nothing but mere conjurations of my imagination or borrowed conjurations of someone else's imagination. I was a coward. I was clumsy. I was lazy. I was good at sketching and cooking and I enjoyed listening to music and I loved to procrastinate but I rarely was late for submitting my assignments. I always ranted my friend's ears off when something went wrong and I was quick to cry too though I never shed tears in front of others because I hated crying in front of people. My nose always turned red and my eyes got all puffy and I hated the way I looked at that time and- my internal monologue was broken when the warmth crawled over my left foot and brushed past my thigh.

"Not real… Please…" I begged, a distant part of my mind laughing at the image I presented at the time, "This can't be real."

This was too bizarre. This had to be some sort of twisted, demented nightmare brought on by my insomniac mind. Sleep deprivation led me to have the strangest of dreams whenever I did actually manage to fall asleep so maybe- the little constant critch critch sounds around me sounded too real to be actually a part of the dream though. And the pressure that accompanied that warmth as it brushed up against me once again, the prickly feel of the coarse bristle-like fur that coated the creatures in here with me, too was too real to be a nightmare. But…

A hysteric laugh bubbled up my throat as I let my head fall back and collide with the slimy wall I was leaning on. The reality of it all was finally beginning to set in.

"Shit" I laughed weakly, my body trembling in disgust as I realized that I was leaning against a wall covered in stinking, smelly _slime. _"This is fucking insane…"

Stuff like this didn't happen. Wasn't _supposed_ to happen. I mean… it was part of one of those things that fall under the category of 'Strictly, you-seriously-need-to-see-a-shrink-if-you-think-otherwise, never-in-a-million-billion-gazillion-years-possible impossible.' With the possibility of something like this happening pretty much a ten raised to the power minus infinity, I bet anyone would have a reaction like mine had they been kidnapped by the antagonists from fictional stories _they_ wrote.

_**A/N: Okay so this was the prologue. Nothing really funny here I know. But trust me. The next chapter is quite funny in a very disturbing sense since there will be OOCness abound. ;) ;)**_

_**So I tried to keep my reactions as close to the way I think I'd react if I ever get caught up in a situation. I can't really recall who asked me that question in the first place but you've got your answer right here. I'd be a complete scatterbrained mess by the end of the fourth day. Umm… I say four days because seriously, no one in their right mind would actually… no never mind. I'd be crying for my mummy dearest by the end of the first day. *sweatdrops* But that's probably because I'm not an anime character. Keep in mind that I might and I most probably will be exaggerating my reactions to certain cases for the sake of adding humor to the story so it's not an exact portrayal of how I will act… I'm not really sure why I'm even explaining it to everyone. Well, if you have any questions of comments, feel free to let me know. Heck you can even poke fun at my poor kidnapped self if you want. ;) ;)**_


	2. Whispers in the Dark

_**A/N: Okay so this is where the funny parts begin. This chapter was written by 'Beth Nottingham' as it started out as a collab though now it's just me that's writing the story. This takes place right after the Ch 18 of 'Whispers in the Dark'. I figured since it's my Birthday today I'd treat you all to a mega update session thingy. **_

_**Enjoy!**_

**Whispers in the Dark:**

Tomoyo was having a very good dream indeed. She was in a forest on the afternoon of one of those days that can't quite make up its mind as to weather it was late summer or early winter, hovering in the autumnal median between the sun's inescapable flames and the coming arctic blast. The air was deliciously cool on her skin, but not so much as to make her bare arms uncomfortable.

She was swathed in a long sleeveless dress of many thin layers of rustling silk that altered subtly in shade from a pale cloud-blue at the top to a deep indigo hue at the hem. Her hair was loose around her, and she had somehow managed to adorn it with tiny blue flowers that showed no signs of dislodging when she moved.

The forest itself was a beautiful, girly scene, full of fluffy animals and flowers and a babbling brook, even complete with a quaint little cottage in the background with walls covered in ivy and honeysuckle.

Tomoyo inhaled deeply, savoring the perfumed medley of flowers and water and good, clean earth that was permeating the air. Now to make it perfect, all the needed was Kurogane to come galloping in on a charger, wearing armor and carrying a big sword. She imagined the heroic look he would have on his face, and her heart was pierced with a pang of longing. This scene just wasn't complete without him.

Her soft, pink lips parted and began unbidden to sing.

"_I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream…"_ she twirled around, letting her full skirt flow out around her. The little animals gathered to her and scampered around her feet in their own little dance.

"_I know you,"_ she continued, the soft melody permeating her mind and waking her gently from her slumber. _"The gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam…"_ the song continued to flow from her lips as her eyes roved the ceiling above her bed and came to rest on Kurogane's face where he sat beside her, looking into her eyes as though they held the secrets of the universe. Her body rose, unbidden, and she took his hands, guiding him gently to his feet.

"_And I know it's true, that visions are seldom all they seem,"_ she continued, her bare feet moving soundlessly across the floor in time with an orchestra that only she could hear.

"_But if I know you, I know what you'll do, you'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream."_ Kurogane responded to her touch, whirling her around the room as if it was a gilded dance-hall, and not an ordinary—if spacious and artistically decorated—bedroom.

"_But if I know you, I know what you'll do,"_ she repeated, _"You'll love me at once…"_

"_The way you did once,"_ Kurogane began, adding his deep tenor to her soprano in a rich crescendo of sound, _"Upon a dream…"_ The violins wailed their soft tune in the background as they danced; Tomoyo in her nightgown and Kurogane in his ripped jeans and leather jacket. The two danced as gracefully as if they were richly-clad nobility in a ballroom of solid gold, their steps and touches practically gleaming with the skill true love brought. In that moment though, no ballroom in the entire world could compete with the quiet splendor of Tomoyo's bedroom, and even the most experienced dancers would have been outshone by their radiance.

"_I know you; I walked with you once upon a dream."_ Kurogane's voice was strong and resonant, like the ocean's endless depths. It was a good match for Tomoyo's light melody, for she undoubtedly reflected the sky.

"_I know you; the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam._" Even dressed as he was, he looked every inch the prince he portrayed. Their two voices blended and melded in a mellifluous torrent of sound and feeling, as though there was a full choir and orchestra performing; not just a pair of teenagers singing A Cappella.

"_And I know it's true, that visions are seldom all they seem, but if I know you, I know what you'll do."_ Red eyes and purple eyes looked loving into one another; connected by the invisible ties we call the bond of love.

"_You'll love me at once… The way you did once… Upon… a… dream…"_

The music ended smoothly, and Princess Tomoyo's feet slowed to a halt, her one hand on her prince's shoulder and her other intertwined with his own. He stopped as well, holding her close and gazing into her eyes.

They slowly moved together, the princess standing up on tiptoe and the prince leaning down so that sky and ocean might meet at the horizon as their lips searched for one another…

Suddenly, something in Kurogane's brain that had been nagging at him while they danced broke through into his conscious mind. It was an abbreviated term, "OOC," whatever that meant, but it was very important, he was sure of that. Tomoyo's mouth was so close to his own that he could feel the warmth…

Wait.

What was he _doing_?

Pulling away quickly, he wrenched his mind out of the euphoric state it had been in for the past several minutes and into reality. There was a _jarring_ difference between the two, and it was a few moments before he could breathe again.

Tomoyo looked just as shocked, her eyes wide in confusion, lips still slightly parted from the moment when they had almost shared a kiss… The fuzzy feeling he had just pushed away engulfed him with a vengeance, more persistent than a mere feeling ought possibly to be. It was harder to resist than anything he had ever felt; harder to ignore than the deepest point in the gutter his mind had ever sunk.

He had to close his eyes so he wouldn't see any more visions of jewel-spangled halls and Tomoyo in silk and lace.

"You feel it too?" Tomoyo asked him—speaking, he had to remind himself, no matter how much like singing her voice might sound—after some time had passed.

"Yeah," he muttered as roughly as he could, as if making his voice as unattractive as possible could somehow break the spell.

"It's sort of like an aphrodisiac," Tomoyo muttered absentmindedly, sinking back onto her bed and covering her face.

Kurogane did not know—nor care to know, all things considered—what an aphrodisiac was. He only wanted to know one thing, and he wanted to know it right that instant.

What the heck had just _happened_?

_**A/N: So can you guess what happened? I hope it was funny. The thought of Kurogane singing and then singing 'once upon a dream' of all things was probably what made it all so hilarious for me. What about you? Leave a review and lemme know.**_


	3. I'm so screwed

_**A/N: I'm really happy right now since my proposal defense went quite well. So here's an update for you all to enjoy.**_

_**Chapter 2:**_

A few hours had passed and I had managed to get my panic under control. Or rather… I had just locked away that part of my mind somewhere while I stared off blankly into the darkness, trying not to focus on my surroundings. Not that I could have done that anyways, what with it being darker than black in the small dungeon I was locked up in. My thoughts drifted back to the events that had led to me being in this position in the first place. There I had been, going about my daily business as usual, on my way to the dorms now that class had ended for the day, when it had happened. The sun was bright in the sky and there was not a single cloud in sight. It sure had been hot today. The split in the air had opened up to my right before I even had a chance to comprehend what was happening as hands had reached out from the tear in time and space itself to grab me. I was pulled from my mundane reality to a complete, utter impossibility. The sudden pull had somehow managed to throw my glasses off my face, the frame bending and the lens breaking under someone's foot as I was pulled along a barren looking land and then pushed unceremoniously down a hole.

I had no idea what time it was now. It must have been at least a couple of hours since I had been taken though… I suppressed a shudder as a rat crawled over my foot once again. This place seemed to be crawling with them… one seemed to be sniffing at my hand.

"Ugh!" I quickly retracted my hand before the thing could bite me. Wiping it at my kurta, I drew my knees close to my chest. I felt sick to my stomach. I wondered if this was how the characters in my stories felt when they were locked in dank, smelly dungeons against their wills. Was what I wrote for them, going to happen to me? And was it just the antagonists that had somehow managed to come to life or were the protagonists lurking around here somewhere too?

"You seem lost in quite a deep thought," a male voice remarked from somewhere around me. I squinted my eyes against the bright light, that seemed to have flooded my dungeon while I was off in lala-land, to observe my visitor. As my eyes adjusted to the brightness, I found the grinning face of Dr. Kyle Rondart observing me from behind a pair of round-rimmed glasses.

"Yeah." I responded lightly, surprised at even myself for sounding that calm and collected, I could just feel that hysterical part of me crawling and clawing its way through my mind to reach the surface, "I'm just thinking up new ways to torture you all in hell."

"You're amusing in person." He chuckled, taking off his glasses to wipe them with a cloth before putting them on again.

"So I've been told." I quipped lightly, feeling the panic bubble up my throat. This was real… this was all friggin real! "So to what do I owe the pleasure of meeting you?"

"There are a few things we'd like for you to tell us." He responded silkily.

"Us?" I repeated, focusing my efforts on keeping my breathing even. I had read about it in books so many times. Show them fear and you're a goner.

"There's Akira, Silver, Naba, that nameless woman from 'Broken', a few others and myself."

I blinked, once, twice, forgetting to even breathe as the impact of his statements hit me in its entirety. Every demented, psychotic character that I had ever come up with… they were all here.

'Shit!' Alternating chills of burning heat swept through my body, only one thought going around in my head. 'I am so screwed.'


	4. Prisoners of War

_**A/N: part of this chapter was written by Beth Nottingham and the rest of it by yours truly. Another funny chapter. Hope you enjoy it.**_

_**Prisoners of War:**_

Cherry's mind was foggy as she awoke in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room, trying for some unknown reason to remember the bizarre dream she had just had. There had been a sea of blood in it, and an island… but she couldn't seem to recall how she had gotten across. Not that it mattered, she reminded herself, casting her eyes around the room, which was dimly lit by thin strips of luminescent material at the creases between the ceiling, walls and floor. She could tell from these that it was a fairly small room; little more than a closet, really. Also she could see from the reflection that it was probably made entirely of metal.

It was probably the ship, she realized as she sat up in the low cot of a bed, her rear and the heels of her hands sinking right through the thin mattress and encountering the hard frame. Not exactly a luxury liner he had booked them on. But as she stood up and made her way to the faintly sparkling rectangle that was the door, she found herself at a loss for how she had gotten from Fai-whatever-his-name-was's living room to where she was now. She was still in Wolf's shirt and her shorts, as if she had just fallen straight into bed when she got here.

Pressing her hand gently against the touchpad on the door, she stepped forward to enter the hallway as it slid back into the wall, but something that had apparently been propped against it tumbled backward into her legs.

"W-Wolf?" she exclaimed, staring down at where he was sprawled in an ungainly tangle of limbs, his head on her feet and his eyes staring blearily up at her.

"Agh!" he choked, scrambling awkwardly to his feet as he realized what had just happened.

"Good grief," Cherry snorted, sliding past him into the hallway, "what were you _doing_ there; sleeping outside my door?"

She blinked in shock as she saw Wolf's face redden and he refused to meet her gaze.

"My gosh… don't tell me you really _were_?" she laughed incredulously, somehow unable to process that idea.

"W-w-well I was… I was… That Fai character sort of strikes me as a… And I mean…" he trailed off, the unspoken phrase 'digging one's own grave' hanging in the air like an axe over his head.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," she snapped, her voice cracking from the sheer… well, _ridiculousness_ of it all. "_You're_ the one guarding _me_ from the supposed pervert. There's something _seriously_ wrong going on here!"

Instead of flinging back a snappy retort like he usually would, Wolf just studied his shoes in obvious chagrin.

"Wolf, Phoenix is _engaged._ You know, as in supposed to be married in a while?" Cherry sighed as she noticed the way he was scratching the ground with the toe of his boot, his hands behind his back. At that moment he reminded the princess very much of a child being reprimanded for stealing cookies from the jar. "Whatever. You're seriously creeping me out. You're not high or something, are you?"

"N-No. O-Of course not." He responded, refusing to meet her gaze as he poked his index fingers together.

"Right," Cherry responded, trying to ignore how awfully cute he looked, standing there with his cheeks flushed, staring at the ground as he poked his fingers together in nervousness. It was adorable somehow. He just… "Hey Wolf." She called out stepping closer towards him as the urge to just, grab him and kiss him started to become stronger. How could she resist such a cute face?

"Y-Yes Princess?" he looked up, noticing how close she was to him and hastily stepping away from her, even more blood rushing to his face as he ended up backing into her room. The princess quickly flicked the door close behind her, not wanting anyone to interrupt them for a while. "U-Um… C-Could you…?"

"Could I what, Wolf?" Cherry grinned, still sashaying over to him as he continued backing away until his legs collided with the frame of the bed and he ended up tumbling back with a startled yelp. She licked her lips as she climbed onto the rickety old bed.

"U-u-uh… C-could y-you…" he stuttered, continuously pushing himself away from her until he ended up getting stuck when he reached the end of the bed. There was nothing but a three foot thick sheet of metal behind him which served as the cabin's wall.

"Yes?" she whispered, trapping him between herself and the wall by placing her hands on the bed-frame on either side of him.

"P-Princess… t-t-this is h-highly inappropriate behavior f-for someo-o-one of y-your station." He managed to get out, the stuttering endearing him even more to the Jade-eyed princess as she drew closer to him. His face had turned a very interesting shade of crimson by now.

"It doesn't matter, _Syao_-_ron_." She breathed as she turned his face towards her using one had. The world seemed to explode in a brilliant display of fireworks as she stared in his endless pools of honey-colored orbs, with flecks of molten gold. They were the most brilliant pair of eyes she had ever seen in her life. So enchanting, so desirable, so… sexy. A small, nagging voice in the back of her mind tried to tell her something but Cherry pushed it away. He was just so irresistibly cute, the way he blushed as he looked at her, his breath warm and minty against her skin as she just kept on staring at him.

"U-Uh…" was all the brunette could get out as he found himself mesmerized by a pair of the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen. Even more blood rushed to his head as the princess drew near him. Only a fraction of an inch more before she would end up kissing him. Wolf almost fainted at the thought of being able to kiss such a heavenly creature with skin as smooth as flawless a milky silk, hair as shiny and soft as threads of satin and… there was a feeling of wrongness attached to the whole situation but he just couldn't put his finger on what it was. Something was not right but… the world exploded in a brilliant display of colors and fire as something soft and warm and smooth collided with his mouth.

Cherry nearly groaned at the feeling coursing through her body as she kissed her prince charming, her awfully adorable and irresistible prince charming. She knew something was not right here but she could not really care as her prince let her dominate the kiss. She ran her fingers through his thick, unruly hair, tugging at the strands as the taste of chocolates and mints filled her senses. She loved every second of it, knowing that she would not be able to stop until and unless she had more. The nagging voice was growing louder and louder by the second until…

Wham! Her fist collided with his face just as she jumped away from his, wiping the back of her mouth with her free hand, eyes glaring daggers at the brunette sitting on her bed.

"What the heck, Cherry?" Wolf cried out in pain as he massaged his rapidly swelling cheek.

"You pervert! You spelled me to act OOC!"

"Uhhh… Cherry, you're not even supposed to know what that term means."

"Shut up! Of course I know what it means. It means-"

"I didn't say you don't know. I said you're not _supposed_ to." He grumbled angrily, "and why the heck did you have to punch me so hard? It really hurt… and for the record, I did not make you kiss me this time."

"If it wasn't you then… what the hell came over me back there. And for that matter, what the hell came over you?"

_**A/N: another story with a messed up plotline. Just what is going over here? Will the TRC gang ever figure this out or will they forever be doomed to act OOC. Stick around to find out in the next update.**_


	5. It's the principle of the thing?

_**A/N: New Year means update time. I hope you guys have a wonderful year ahead of you. Enjoy the update!**_

_**Chapter 4:**_

"So let me get this straight," I said, looking over at the man incredulously. I only thought villains were made out to be stupid so that the good guys could win. I never thought the stupidity was an inherent trait that came with them being evil. "You kidnapped me so that you could get me to tell you how my stories end because you're all tired of being beaten by the good guys and want to win for a change, which you will do if you know the future and are able to form plan to counter act their actions?"

"My explanation didn't sound that dumb," he frowned lightly, "but that's the general gist of it all."

"You do realize what you're asking me to tell you all, right?"

"Why else would we have gone through the trouble to break into that high security prison you call a university and kidnap you?" he asked in monotone.

"I thought all you had to do was tear a rip in space. I don't really see how that's problematic considering no one even saw me get kidnapped." And that was when the little fact that no one even knew I was kidnapped hit me. My friends all thought I was probably sleeping in my room. They wouldn't even worry much if I didn't show up for dinner at the messing hall that night. I doubt they'd worry until I remained missing for at least a couple of days. Ah… Such good friends I had… "You didn't have to deal with security of any sorts whatsoever." I accused.

"It's the principle of the thing." He sniffed haughtily in response leaving me gaping as I tried to come up with a response.

"What principle?" I blew up, forgetting everything about my supposed to being scared. "You psychos just kidnapped me! To get information about what? _Plotlines_!"

"Well excuse me if I happen to care about not wanting to lose at the hands of snotty, ass kissing, annoying little pieces of…." Had I had a wrist watch on me, I might have check to see the time as the bespectacled doctor proceeded to call them some very inventive and amusing names,. He went on and on for what I was sure was at least an hour. Pent up frustration much? This doctor seriously needed to see a shrink. And soon. "… snobby goodie two shoes." He ended his rant, breathing hard as he stared at my face.

"Wow." I breathed, "Dude, you seriously need to see a shrink about that. You have some major issues you need to work out."

"Sorry." He gave me a sheepish grin as he scratched the back of his head with his left hand, "I tend to rant sometimes."

'Yeah. No kidding.' I thought inwardly. "So you were saying?"

"We need you to tell us everything!"

"Yeah… About that…" I dragged, "not happening."

And trust me when I say this, I wasn't trying to be righteous at all when I told him that. Frankly speaking I could care less about what they did with the information once they had it… well no. actually I did care. They'd ruin pretty much everything if they knew but that's beside the point. After seeing the supposedly formidable doctor rant like that, I seriously could not bring myself to be scared of him. I mean seriously, who'd be scared of a guy who flailed his arms around like a four year old on a sugar high?

But maybe I should have been scared as his next words kinda made me fear for my life.

"Let's see if our nameless lady friend from 'Broken' can help change your mind."

Can someone say 'shit hit the fan'?

That nameless woman- I seriously need to think up a name for her-was one of the crazier ones. Along with Akira and… hmm… now that I think about it. Pretty much all my evil OCs are slightly crazy. I wonder if I should be worried about that.

"Enjoying your stay here so far?" she asked, onyx eyes boring into mine as she stepped out from behind Kyle. Where exactly _were_ they coming from? And where was the source of this annoying light? At least, it wasn't the annoying flickering light bulb. I feel sorry for Syaoran for putting him through that.

"Yeah. The slimy walls are really fun to lean against. I've even got rats in here to keep me company." I responded in a disturbingly cheerful tone. I never thought my mind would resort to sarcasm as a coping mechanism in a situation like this. "Now if only you guys could do something about the smell… Maybe throw in a rotting corpse or two and I'd be all set."

"We'll see how sharp your tongue is after a little dose from this." Her voice was soft as she spoke yet it managed to instill a sudden dread in my heart. Damn… I seriously should not have made her out to be this scary when I had thought up her character. Her grin wasn't crazy like I had made out Akira's to be, but just the way she looked at me, made me want to curl up in a corner and bawl my eyes out like a baby. Not that I would do that of course… She reached inside the jacket that she wore and drew out a syringe. I suppressed the urge to gulp. This was bad. This was really, really bad. No good ever came out of syringes. Apparently, my thoughts showed on my face since as she grinned. "Recognize this?"

"Too lazy to even think up new forms of torture?" I bit back. What was _wrong_ with my mouth? Why couldn't I just shut up? "What's it gonna do? Make me hallucinate my family is beating me up? Please._ I_ came up with that. You really think that trick would work on me?"

Shut up. Shut up you stupid mouth. Stop running ahead of me!

My overactive imagination was already busy coming up with numerous scenarios involving me and a lot of unpleasant things… you know what? I'd rather not describe them here. It makes me feel sick just thinking about them. After all… have you read some of the things I've had happen to the protagonists in my stories at the hands of OCs that I made up?

"As fun as that sounds," she smiled acidly, "We actually modified the drug slightly to suit our current needs."

I was frozen in place by my fear. It's funny. This woman is something I had made up… yet I was afraid of her. Because she was real now. So terrifyingly real. I could barely breathe as she crouched next to me, that perfect smile still in place as she took one of my hands. Her fingers felt really soft and warm in comparison to my own chilled skin.

"We really wish you'd cooperate with us, you know." She said conversationally as she slipped the needle under my skin. I tried to will myself to move but my limbs felt like they had been carved out of stone. I was paralyzed. Her smile grew, probably at the expression that must have shown itself on my face. The liquid spread out from the point the needle had broken my skin, first proceeding to freeze my blood before a poisonous burning sensation took its place. I let out a shaky gasp as the woman that had yet to be named moved away from me, standing next to Kyle as the drug began to work its way through my system. I grit my teeth as the feeling worsened, the sensation now similar to what a person might feel if their body was being torn to shreds from the inside, the skin peeling way from flesh and bones. A dull throb attacked my temples, increasing in intensity until it was almost similar to having a drill boring a hole through my skull. I cried out as the world began to swirl around me in unsteady waves, darkness moving in to claim me. The last thing I heard before passing out was the woman's laughter, her velvety voice telling me to 'have fun waking up to a nightmare.' Then I knew no more.

_**A/N: And the reason for my kidnapping is finally revealed. How funny was it?**_


	6. Shattered Secrets

_**A/N: So I finally remembered that I had another story that was written out and I figured I oughta update. But since this chapter is really small, you're in luck as I'll be putting up the next one right after this one.**_

_**Shattered Secrets:**_

_Yuui's scream of anguish would have no doubt been heard for miles as the memory began to fade away and Touya felt the spell finally end._

Touya blinked as his surroundings changed again, this time back into the ship they had been in before the mage had started that spell. He felt tears well up in his eyes at the memories he had witnessed.

Looking around the cabin, it was evident that he was not the only one there to respond in such a manner. Tomoyo was staring at Fai, tears gliding freely down her cheeks, Yukito was dabbing at the edges of his eyes, and Kurogane…

The crimson-eyed captain had his hand covering the top portion of his face, his shoulders shuddering every few seconds. Touya was about to reach over and smack him-how dare he laugh after witnessing such trauma!-but then a very audible sniffle came from behind the man's hand.

"W-wow, Fai….I'm so so-so-sorry. I had no idea you'd g-g-gone through all that." He gasped out, falling to his knees.

The blond mage started looking flustered at all waterworks going on around him. "Guys, I know my past was pretty rough, but really, it's not something you have to cry over." Even as he said that, his own eyes started to glimmer with yet-unshed tears.

"P-pretty rough?" Touya heard his own voice come out chokingly. "I thought Sakura and I had a hard time when we were younger, but you…"

"I get it that you were all touched and that you understand where I'm coming from now, but," tears were now freely falling down Fai's cheeks as well, "Don't you think maybe this is a slight overreaction?"

At that, they hesitated, as though his words had struck some kind of chord within them all.

Kurogane was the first to speak. "Now that you mention it…"

"Something does feel kind of off." Tomoyo finished.

_What the hell is that crazy author doing now? _ Touya was certain from the looks on the faces of those with him that their thoughts were running along similar lines as his own.


	7. That's the Best you came up with?

_**A/N: More of me. I hope you guys will have more fun reading this than the 'me' stuck in this story. ;)**_

_**I'**__**m just a step away**__**  
><strong>__**I'm just a breath away…**_

_Groaning I swatted my hand in the general direction of my cell phone, turning off the blaring alarm. _

_**Losing my faith today**__**  
><strong>__**Falling off the edge today!**_

_Turning on my side, I snuggled deeper under the covers.__  
><em>_"I'm late!" I shrieked, falling out of bed to the floor in a confused heap, the cotton coverlet tangling around my frame as I tried to grab my cellphone. _

_9:20 a.m._

"_Nonononono. This can't be happening again!" I cried, hurriedly casting a glance around me. My jeans were lying in a crumpled heap on the floor where I had thrown them the day before. Actually I had thrown them on the chair. I must have missed but… "Why didn't anyone wake me up?" I cried, hastily changing into my clothes, throwing on the black kurta I was wearing the day before. "Shit! Shit! Not again… please. I can't be late again! Where the heck did drop my keys?" I turned my room upside down, trying to locate the golden keychain that held the solitary key to the lock to my room. I threw the books from my study table onto the bed, hastily looking under half open books. "Where are they? Damn it. Not today!" _

_I ducked under my bed, my hands blindly groping around on the tiled floor in search of the missing keys. I could feel the dust gathering underneath my bed. I'd have to clean that soon. But that would come later. I was late for my final again. I was-_

"_Miss _, can you please take your seat now? I am about to distribute the question papers." I peeked out from under the bed to find that I was in a class room that strangely enough appeared similar to the messing hall at my dorms. Why the heck were they conducting an exam in the messing hall? "Miss _?"_

"_Oh. Right. Sorry." I hastily straightened up, taking the seat that head materialized next to me. Thinking nothing of it, I grabbed my pen, resting on the table inside an empty bottle of orange juice. Strange. I knew I put my pen in my pencil box… not the juice bottle. Looking down, I noticed I was still wearing my sleepwear. Oh God… I was pretty sure I had changed into my day clothes._

"_Now that we are seated, you may begin. Please turn over your exam sheets. You have thirty minutes to complete your exam." I froze in the motion of turning over the sheet. _

_What the fuck? Thirty minutes for a final exam? Was this guy high or something? Casting a look around myself to see if my peers had noticed something off about the examiner as well, I realized that they were all busy scribbling furiously on their sheets. Shrugging lightly, I turned my attention to the paper before me. Maybe I had somehow missed the memo on the timing for the exams? It was entirely possible you know. After all, they had all missed that I was giving my final in my pajamas. Ah well…_

_Q1. Draw the chemical structure of Benzene. (10 marks)_

_Q2. Why is the raven like a writing desk? Give two examples. (3 + 4 marks)_

_Q3. What is your date of birth? (15 marks)_

_Q4. Why are you giving this exam? (3 marks)_

_Q5. If x=3 and y=2 then find the value of z=x+y? (25 marks)_

_Blinking hard, I reread the question paper. _

_What_

_The_

_Hell?_

_This was supposed to be my VLSI* exam! Why were they asking me questions from Chemistry and Algebra, stuff that I had not had to read for over two years now! And Alice in Wonderland? Really?_

_Shaking my head, I grinned like an idiot, filling it out in under five minutes, though I wasn't really sure why a raven would resemble a writing desk, but as soon as I reached the last question, dread settled in the pit of my stomach._

_The value of z… was it… was it 7? Or… maybe it was 4… No. That wasn't right. It was… wait… why I don't I know the answer to such a basic problem? This was supposed to be child's-play compared to everything else I had solved in class... why was I stuck on it? _

_Sweat began to bead my brow as I cast a glance around the class and noticed my classmates filling out sheet after sheet after sheet… just what the heck were they all writing? It was almost like they were all mocking me with the constant scritch scritch scritch of their pencils and pens and quills… wait a minute. Quills? _

_Where in the world had I ended up?_

"_Thirty seconds everyone." The examiner called out and I stared back at the sheet, my eyes widening in horror as the sheet wiped itself clean of my untidy scrawl._

"_Time's up. Please put your quills down and pass your parchments to the student seated in front of you."_

Gasping for breath, I shot up, groaning at the pain that assaulted my head the minute I was upright.

"So, how was it?" her onyx eyes bore into mine as the nameless woman leaned over me.

"That's… the best… you've got?" I grunted, trying to bring my queasy stomach under control, "Seriously? You guys gave me… a nightmare about exams… that's the best form of torture… you could come up with?" Her eyes narrowed slightly as I continued speaking, "Honestly, a four year old could come up with better methods than this." I meant it. Have you _tried_ watching Barney? That purple dinosaur could scar you for _life!_

"We were short on time," she hissed, daring me to laugh at her, "Fei wanted us to move in as soon as we could."

"Oh so the Bat-guano still gets to be in charge of all the baddies?" Please my stupid mouth… just shut up…

"Do you enjoy making things worse for yourself?" the nameless woman from Broken- yugh! I seriously need to come up with a name for her- growled as she suddenly grabbed my hair and pulled me close enough that our noses almost touched.

"Uh… considering how I've never really been in a situation like this before I can't believe I've had any previous experience in making things worse for myself." Why mouth? Why? Why did you have to develop your own brain right when I was in some serious danger?

"Mmm… I usually like it when my captives have a sharp tongue." She grinned, her sharp nail tracing a path down the side of my face, making me freeze in horror.

Oh shit! Don't tell me this sick… vile thing just… just said what I thought she did. First my mouth and now my OC? Next thing you know, my glasses would have a mind of their own. Although… I can only hope it's not as sick as this psycho's… someone please remind me why I keep on making my evil guys slightly mentally unhinged?

_***VLSI stands for Very Large Scale Integrations. It's one of my Elective courses and even though the theory isn't that hard, the labs are time consuming as hell. **_


	8. Kurogane is a pervert!

_**Chapter 7:**_

Wind blew the cream colored curtain away from the window. The breeze caused a few loose sheets to fall to the ground on the blue rug that covered the floor. On the single, unmade bed set up to the left side of the small room, right next to the brown door, laid a random pile of books, a messy blanket, a half empty water-bottle and some discarded clothes. The roof began to bulge inwards, almost resembling a giant droplet as the ceiling, along with the fan, warped and twisted until it touched the ground and burst with a small pop. The magical wind blew up the loose sheets to fly around the room in circles before falling everywhere.

"Don't tell me… _this_ is where that damn woman lives?" Kurogane narrowed his eyes in distaste as he looked around the untidy room.

"She does," Fai replied as he approached study table set up near the foot of the bed, right under the window, and picked up a photo-frame. "But if this fine layer of dust is anything to go by," he frowned, his finger wiping the surface of the glass covering the photograph underneath, "I'd say she hasn't been in her room for at least a day or two."

"Well, search her room," Kurogane growled irritably as he turned his attention to the cupboard built into the wall to the right side of the bed. "I want to know just what it is that she's been smoking to write me," a visible shudder passed his whole body as he looked over his shoulder at his blond companion while opening a drawer in the cupboard at the same time, "_singing _and _dancing _like a pansy wimp." Still looking over at the blond, he absentmindedly rummaged around inside the drawer, "I mean I know I'm just a teenager in that story of hers, but to make me sing a Disney classic with Tomoyo?"

"Um… Kuro-tan…"

"_Once upon a dream!_ Really? _That_ is the best song she could come up with for me to sing?"

"Kurgy…"

"At that point in the story, that scene doesn't even fit! Tomoyo is gravely injured and the first thing that woman makes her do as she wakes up, is _sing!"_

"Kuro-pup?"

"Why can't that devil woman have made me have a confrontation with Tomoyo's overprotective mother instead?"

"Kurogane!"

"What?"

"I don't think she will appreciate you rummaging through her personal items." Fai pointed out while stifling a giggle.

"Personal item?" he trailed off as his eyed widened in horror as he realized just what it was that was in her drawer. Dropping the article of clothing as though it had burnt him, he slammed the drawer and then the cupboard shut as he turned away with his face resembling beetroot. "Mage…"

"Yes Kuro-pervert?" the blond grinned with a teasing glimmer in his eyes.

"Don't you dare mention this to the devil woman," he threatened the skinny man, "or I swear I'll… Do something very bad to you in the near future."

"Aww… Is Kuro-puu so afraid of the author finding out that he went through her clothes like a pervert that he can't even come up with a suitable threat for little old me?"

"S-Shut up Idiot!"

"Anyhow, while you were being a pervert, I checked around the rest of her room and," he paused for a bit of dramatic effect, "I'm afraid to say that the laptop is not here."

"In that case, let's hope the kid and the princess has better luck finding that crazy woman."

"For all our sakes, I sure hope so." Fai nodded, looking solemn as he thoughtfully stared out of the window, "I don't think I can actually stomach another scene where you spontaneously burst into tears upon hearing the story of my tragic past. Even if watching you sob like a little girl was the funniest thing I had ever seen in my life."

"I _told_ you! It wasn't me. That crazy, fruitloop of a devil woman made me do it!"

"Whatever you say Kurgs. Whatever you say… But we all know that's how you really felt on the inside."


	9. I want Pink Fuzzy Villians

_**Chapter 8:**_

As I woke up, a tired groan escaped my lips. Tiredly rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I sat up, cringing at the dirty muck that had stuck to my cheek in sleep. Hurriedly scrubbing it off my skin with my fingers, I looked around, wondering just where in the world did those idiots that had kidnapped me, expected me to relieve myself. I couldn't just attend to my business in this smelly cell of mine, could I? Surely, they must have made some sort of arrangements for _that_… right? Right?

As if brought there by my raging thoughts, I head Kyle's voice drift into my dark, stinky prison through the big iron door they had been using to come visit me so far.

"Oi! Kyle!" I hastily jumped to my feet, following the sound of his voice to approach the door, "Open this stupid door this instant you brainless moron!" I yelled, banging my fists against the metal as I did, "Let me out this instant or I swear I'll do something really bad to you when I get out of here!"

I could not believe my luck when my bluff worked and I heard the lock scrape open on the other side.

"Step away from the door, Obsidian." He ordered just as he pushed the barrier inwards. Not wanting it to hit me, I complied. "What do you want?" he asked warily as I squinted at him through the bright light pouring into my cell from the outside.

"I need to use the toilet." I answered in a monotone. Well, as much of a monotone as possible when my voice was hoarse from disuse and thirst.

"That's all?" he asked staring at me with incredulity as though I had just sprung a second head.

"What do you mean that's all?" I screeched, "I. Need. To. Use. The. Toilet! What part of that don't you understand?"

"Okay. Okay. Calm down." He said, hastily approaching me, "I'll take you there. Just keep your voice down. I don't want Nameless to yell at me for letting you disturb her beauty nap."

I blinked. "Nameless?"

"That woman from Broken." He clarified, grabbing my arm in a vice-like grip as he started dragging me out of the cell, "You still haven't given her a name. Calling her 'Nameless woman from Broken' is too much of a mouthful so we've all agreed on Nameless until you give her a name." Feeling dizzy from the sudden assault of fluorescent light when I had spent God knows how long in the dark cell, I shuffled along.

He was right. That did seem like too much of a mouthful. But still calling her Nameless was a bit stupid. He led me down oh so many twisting and winding hallways that I began to wonder if he had been backtracking and going this way and that, just to confuse me. I could have sworn I saw that door with the crimson Bat Insignia before. Turning around another hallway, he marched me to that door with the Bat Insignia on its wooden surface.

"Were you going around in circles just to confuse me?" I deadpanned, noting that this was the very door we had passed at least ten times already.

"No…" the way he denied it, only confirmed my suspicions.

"All it did," I deadpanned, noticing just how… stereotypically-evil-guy-lair everything was in this room, "was help me memorize which way not to take if I ever manage to break out of that smelly cell."

"This is the bathroom." He told me, pushing me through a door as he took up station outside it. The toilet came with an attached bath, I noticed that the floor was covered in black tiles, though all the fixtures were a rather dark maroon. Once I was finished with what I needed to do, I walked over to the sink to wash my hands, noticing that the tap handles were designed in the shape tiny black bats. I almost rolled my eyes at that one. Almost. My stare was actually frozen at my reflection. The barely there dark circles under my eyes had become so much more pronounced in the time that I had been stuck here, my hair was a complete mess, sticking out randomly from the braid I had put it in while hurrying to class that day. There was dirt sticking all over my face and I couldn't help but cringe at the sight I presented. Shoving my hands under the spray of warm water, I quickly scrubbed my face, pushing back my dirty bangs as I splashed the liquid on my face. I wiped off the droplets on the crimson towel that hung on the stand before turning around to make my way outside the bathroom.

I wasn't really sure what had made the doctor give in to my demands. Were they maybe… trying to appease me? Hoping that if they'd do what I asked, I'd tell them what they wanted to know in return? Well, if that was the case… I could actually take advantage of the situation. Hey. They kidnapped me. I was well within my rights to trick them in return.

"…drug took care of that!" I heard that nameless woman from Broken hiss at the other side of the door. Damn, I seriously need to come up with a name for her…

"You mean I didn't have to listen to her?" my heart dropped to my stomach. Hmm… Maybe an embarrassing name would work for her.

"Wasn't that what I told everyone when I was explaining the changes that I had made to the drug?"

"Well, you were rambling about all those boring things at the same time." He replied in a rather weak voice, "It's not my fault my concentration slipped."

"You mean you fell _asleep_?"

"I wasn't the only one…" he protested.

"You mean _everyone_ fell asleep?"

"Well not everyone is interested in knowing how musical the sounds of breaking bones are to your ears." Kyle countered, "Or how the smell of burning flesh is sweeter than any fragrance man or nature could come up with! Frankly speaking, those things are rather sickening to listen to."

"Oh so you mean to tell me, hypnotizing little kids to dig out feathers buried in snow is any better?" Nameless woman from Broken- man I really, _really_ need to come up with a name- spat angrily, "Or stealing comatose bodies of princesses while their friends can only watch is more evil?"

"I'll have you know, it takes a true genius to figure out just how to manipulate those kids. You have any idea how troublesome it was for me to convince little Timmy to follow the crows at night? At _night?_ It's hard to see anything in the dark and I had to convince that brat to follow a damn bird that was all black! And you know what made it worse? He kept insisting he wanted to follow the glowing princess with freaking golden hair!"

"Wow…" Nameless woman from… oh screw it! I'll just call her Bob from now on. "You seriously have some issues you need to work out, you know that?" _Bob_ said in a monotone.

"I've been told…" the doctor chuckled sheepishly. "So care to tell me a short, edited version, of just why is it that Obsidian can't use her powers as an author and get out of here on her own anymore?"

Wait a second… I had Author Powers? Why the hell didn't anyone tell me? I could have kicked all their asses and gotten out of here and no one bothered to _tell me?_ Life is so not fair… I could have been all cool and awesome and-

"First of all," as Bob started explaining, I decided to cut my whining short and eavesdrop on the other side of the door, "as far as I have observed, she hasn't really realized that she had powers in the first place." You got that right bitch. Why the friggin' hell didn't anyone tell me I had super powers? Why? Why? Whyyyyy? My childhood dream of becoming a superhero would have been fulfilled. Well obviously I wouldn't have gone around wearing my underwear on top of my clothes, but I'd have had been such an awesome superhero…"The drug we gave her yesterday morning was modified to block out her powers until she leaves this world so as of yesterday, she's completely harmless. Now tell me again why in the world did you bring her out of her cell?"

"Uhhh… She wanted to use the toilet?"

"Tch… what an idiot." And with that, I heard the ominous clack of her heels as she approached the bathroom door. Next time I decide I need a manic villain for a story, I'm going to make them pink and furry with stubby little paws that don't need to wear heels!Wait a minute, pink and furry brings my plot bunnies to mind and despite their obviously fuzzy cuteness, those things would have even Bob cowering in one end of the room in fear but for now, I think I should be the one doing the cowering…


End file.
